Posted by Monica Danna on Feb 12, 2010 in personal
Cliff + Cassidy by Clint Shuttlesworth
Oh Love. Or in the words of one Ashley Simpson Ello, Ello, Ello, Ello, Vee, Eee.
Like a JoBros concert, I usually try and avoid V-Day like the plague. But this year, in lieu of spewing hatred on the infamously industry-created “holiday” I decided to confront it head on, and face the demons. So what’s the big deal anyway? This will be the 6th year in a row I won’t have a Valentine. And most of those years that was a conscious decision. Most of them.
I’m known to be pretty outspoken on my views of romantic relationships, moreso that I’m writing a book about it. But rarely do I ever discuss the L word. It’s not that I’m afraid of love (an all too common misjudgment of a 31 year old single gal). I’ve been in love. I’ve been loved. I cringe when coupled up friends remark, “oh, you just haven’t met the right one yet!” It doesn’t often occur to those people that maybe I’m not looking for the right one. Just yet, at least. I refer to this as couple-tunnel vision. Or love goggles. Most people in a relationship (at least happy, healthy relationships) can’t imagine why everyone wouldn’t want to be. I’m not going to get into that in this post, but suffice it to say, not every single person is actively looking for love.
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Growing up in the South has had an adverse impact on my views on marriage and relationships. I’ve traveled all over the world, and the stereotype that Southern folks tend to get married at an earlier age, seems to be pretty spot on to me. Speaking in general terms, of course. Not that I am judging this at all, just an observation. When writing for the book, I focus my audience on young women, girls in their late teens, or early twenties. You change SO much in your twenties. How challenging of a situation to be in for two people, both changing so drastically, to try keep the same ideals? In no way am I saying this can’t be done. I have many happily married friends who were married in their early 20’s. I just want to offer that there is an alternative. A happy, growing, fulfilling alternative. I don’t think that quite gets through to most people. At least in the South.
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As cliche and predictable as it sounds, the HBO series Sex & The City had a tremendous impact on my feelings on dating and relationships. Not in a way that I sought to emulate these characters, but for the first time in my 26 years (the age at which I discovered the show) I finally felt like someone GOT me. For the first time I felt like someone was telling MY story. I’ve dated these guys! I’ve had these issues. Married guys hit on me WAY too often. Some guys are horrible kissers and, yes, some women, even in the South, have healthy, active intimate relationships. I’ve been told flat out to my face that “no one acts like those women.” By golly, they do. I DO.
I have an eternal argument with two of my closest friends about Fiction vs. Non-Fiction. I wouldn’t label myself an avid reader, but when I do read, it’s usually history or other non-fiction books. Why? Because it ACTUALLY happened. I understand the talent it takes to create a world of fiction. And I understand the delight of being drawn into a fantasy world, especially in the fast-paced, quickly changing world we live in. However, I like to base my idols on REAL people. People with real flaws, emotions, and experience. Both Maggie and Andrew will argue with this, but just as well. That’s why I love them.
I know what you’re going to say. Say it. Sex & The City is fiction. Or is it? Personally, I feel like the details of these women’s lives and situations are too intimately documented to be made up. A vast majority of the writers on the show are women, and I’m confidant that Monday morning writers meeting consisted many times of weekend tales from these women. Nevertheless, these characters, dialogue, and relationships portrayed are comfortable to me. Or rather, a comfort. Or both.
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A few weeks ago I attended an Opera in the Heights Performance of Un Ballo en Maschera. As many operatic plots goes, the protagonist is destroyed by his flaw of loving a woman too much. For the woman to only be discovered by her husband, who threatened to execute her in front of their son for her transgression. In book after book, and movie after movie, we see love portrayed as an all consuming emotion that leads seemingly sane people to crazy, self-destruction. I often have wondered if this kind of love exists in real life? Or are these acts merely machinations of mental psychoses within one’s self? If in 2010 a man cut his ear off and sent it to a woman as a Valentine, he’d be arrested, thrown in jail, and evaluated for mental stability. But 150 years ago, this act was “romantic”, the ultimate act of “love”.
On the way home from the opera, I commented to my date, “At what point did men stop loving women so much that they would endure pain, suffering, and ultimately death?!”
“The same point at which it stopped being acceptable for a man to execute his wife in front of his child,” he quickly remarked.
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I heard from a friend this morning, that in Australia only couples celebrate Valentine’s Day. More specifically, “V day is an annual holiday celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.” As if people not in relationships aren’t capable of giving or receiving love. Psshhh. I happen to actually enjoy showing extra affection to everyone in my life on Valentine’s Day–Mom, Dad, best friends, Grandma–as an act of reminding myself how lucky I am to have these people to help me through my life.
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When talking about love, I’m constantly reminded of Carrie Bradshaw’s desperate admission in one of the last episodes in the series:
“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love. And I don’t think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in Paris.”
Ok, yes it’s been almost three weeks since the Altitude Design Summit. And it’s taken me that long to get over the fact that I’m the worst skier in America. Maybe even North America.
Way overdue is a wrap-up post on the wonderfulness (that’s absolutely a word) that was the first annual Altitude Design Summit. There are many, many, many, many, many more timely, great wrap-up posts. Instead of recreating those, I decided to pick my top 10 best memories from ALT. The things (and people) that 3 weeks later, I’m still thinking about.
I was completely honored to be a part of this amazing gathering of creativity, technology, and community. I know where I’ll be in Jan of 2011 (not on the slopes).
I had been looking forward to last Friday night for a long time. Music has slowly slipped to the bottom of my todo list as work has gotten more and more hectic in 2010. But I was sweetly validated, as Justin Townes Earle took the stage at the Mucky Duck in Houston, less than a week after Earle’s father, Steve Earle won his first Grammy, for a tribute album to JTE’s namesake, Townes Van Zandt.
We had quite the motley crew in attendance for the show, and even got the chance to hang with JTE a little bit after the show.
I know what you're thinking, we make the raddest couple. I had the SAME thought!
Listen to a few of JTE’s tracks from his latest album Midnight at the Movies:
the c.u.t. – c.u.there – is a weekly feature consisting of events I suggest you check out…or die. or worse. muahaha. just check it out.
What’s more romantic than Romeo and Juliet? (besides, Justin Timberlake and bath tub full of, oh, ok, um, that’s personal.)
Looking for a way to pull your head up out of Twitter long enough to remember when people met before Match.com? All too often these days, technology tends to make efficient, practical monsters out of us. Let’s remember our emotions, and get back to the basics, shall we?
This weekend, on a Holiday that I refuse to celebrate for fear of validating the floral industry’s existence, let’s instead remember young love, dance, and tragedy, as the most excellent Dominic Walsh Dance Theater presents it’s recreation of Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet.
I’ve had the great opportunity to get to know this company of dancers intimately over the last few years and have attended each performance, more and more impressed and inspired. Watching them in rehearsal, experiencing the collaborative process of creating the choreography with Dominic, has made me a life-long advocate of these true artistic athletes. And thanks to DWDT’s excellent job incorporating video into their marketing efforts, you can get to know them, too. Check out these various clips of the company members speaking about their roles in R+J.
I hope you’ll join me this weekend to check them out for yourself. See the below video for a preview of this weekend’s performances. c.u.there, peeps!
p.s. I’ll be at the Saturday show hosting the Casting Couch, following the performance we’ll be inviting Casting Couch ticket holders on stage for a reception. More info here.
(That, and me trying not to freak out when meeting design idols like Joslyn of Simple Lovely. And she is just that, simply lovely.)
In other news, I may never leave this place.
I was invited by the organizers of ALT to take part in a pre-conference workshop called Politicopia, led by Utah Senator Steve Urquhart. Myself, Laura Mayes, Colin Delany, David All and Ric Cantrell spoke to local Utah politicians and campaign teams about new media tactics and trends. The experience was amazing, and I learned a ton from my fellow panelists, all brilliant political new media strategists. It’s exciting and inspiring to see how other states’ legislatures are utilizing these new media tools.
After the workshop I wondering into the lobby of the Grand America Hotel where the conference is taking place this weekend, to meet up with some speakers and attendees of ALT. Holy hell. This hotel. Is incredible. Think, Versailles meets holy freaking radness. There’s a parlor. IN OUR ROOM. Straight up roylaty, y’all. Here’s a pic from our balcony. Oh, there’s two balconies. Natch.
Tonight there’s a speed networking event and a “Hollywood Glam” mixer. Thankfully, between Laura and I, we packed enough for a small Paris Hilton army.
Happy New Year! Ten days late. Appropriately on the 10th day of the 10th year in the century, the millenium, even. As Laura Mayes pointed out earlier today on Twitter, “Ah, today. The 01.10.10. Still so in love with this year’s pretty dates.” And that’s exactly how I feel in this first year of the new decade. That things are in order. And pretty.
2009 was a year filled with ups and downs, and disorder, and rebuilding, and many wonderful lessons. As I’m sure there will be all of that in 2010, as well, I begin the year with a feeling of calm, confidence, and optimism. I’m constantly blessed with being surrounded by amazing people and projects that give me dream opportunities, and I’m super excited to share a few of the things I’ll be doing in 2010. Still pinching myself on some of these.
Alt Summit – I’m presenting! (in unrelated news…I’m dying…of excitement)
Pretty much a design junkie’s dream conference. Set in the beautiful town of Salt Lake City, UT smack dab in the middle of the Sundance Film Festival. Oh, and did I mention all of my design idols are speaking? I didn’t? Well, THAT is the best part. (Unless, I track down Justin Timberlake at Sundance. In that case THAT will be the best part.)
Um, Apartment Therapy? Hell yes. Design Milk? oh yeah, they’ll be there. NOTCOT< check! Design Crush, {frolic!} and Design*Sponge. Yep. I know, right? Breathe. Oh yeah, and that guy who created the Mastercard “Priceless” campaign. I can’t think of a better word to describe this experience. Oh, joy! (yeah, she’ll be there, too.)
I’m HELLA honored (I know, hella is classy) to have been invited by Kirtsy to present a pre-conference social media workshop with Laura Mayes. After I realized I wasn’t dreaming, panic set in that I’d instantly turn into a babbling idiot when faced with the purveyors of lovely that grace my Google Reader daily. Let’s hope I can at least keep up with them on the slopes. Did I mention the Sundance party we’re going to? I didn’t? Back to pinching myself.
Running away with the Sun
During a packed performance last night at Houston’s Continental Club, Texas blues rock favorites, Runaway Sun, made a major announcement. They have recently been selected to play in New York City as part of the Best Buy Live at Best Buy Music series on March 26th. Following an amazing year that included the release of their first full-length LP, and being nominated for a Houston Press award for Best Blues Band, the Texas foursome is preparing for a Southeastern U.S. tour this Spring.
Lead vocalist and guitarist Andrew Karnavas is wrapping up recording a solo album at Sugar Hill Studios, before he embarks on a few solo shows on the way to the NYC performance. And I’m going with him! ROADTRIP! We plan to drive through Nashville, Charlotte and D.C. on the way to New York. If you’ve got peeps in those areas, let them know we’re headed that way!
WordCamp comes to the HTX
If there’s one thing I’m more passionate about than design and music, (or Justin Timberlake), it’s technology. And if blogging is my sickness, then WordPress is my drug of choice. Created by Houstonian Matt Mullenweg, WordPress is an open-source blog publishing platform that beautifully organizes all the posts, comments, and sidebar content that you see on this blog, and thousands of others. I’m a huge WordPress groupie, as are most who use the software. It’s hard to not fall in love with beautiful code. Especially when you don’t have to look at it.
We’ve just confirmed that my company, co.lab, my sister design company, Primer Grey, along with fellow WordPress enthusiasts will be hosting Houston’s first WordCamp later this year. PG and I are passionate about technology education and are friggin’ excited (official emotion) to host this incredible user group. We’re working on details and will share as soon as we lock down a date and location. Visit http://wordcamphouston.com or follow @wordcamphtx on twitter for breakin’ news. Yes, breakin’! We’re from Texas, y’all!
Posted by Monica Danna on Dec 26, 2009 in Best '09
So I took a little detour last week, so I’m behind on my best09 posts. Decided to hop a plane to Vegas before 2009 was over, and then a little thing called NYE happened. More on those later. But for now, one big finale post of my Best09. It’s been a blast recapping the past year. 2010’s already off to a great start,(judging by the fact that the last 2 days I haven’t left a bed or couch.)
{December 26 Insight or aha! moment. What was your epiphany of the year?}
That sometimes you’re gonna get people down. It’s unavoidable.
{December 27 Social web moment. Did you meet someone you used to only know from her blog? Did you discover Twitter?}
I had a ton of these this year. However, one in particular, recently, was when I was in New York for the Kirtsy party. We were throwing the party in a beautiful loft space in Soho owned by the founders of the Wooster Collective. I’ve been a fan of the site for year, and was shocked when a man walked up to me at the party, put his iPhone in my face and said,”Is this you?” As I stared at a tweet I had made earlier that week about being psyched about having the party at a space owned by Sara and Marc Schiller. Never did I think they’d actually be at the party. He introduced himself as Marc, and I was a bit star struck. We chatted about art and social media, and he was delightful, as was the awesome Sara, who runs the place. It made me realize how many amazing opportunities I’ve been given because of social media in 2009. It’s changed my life.
{December 28 Stationery. When you touch the paper, your heart melts. The ink flows from the pen. What was your stationery find of the year?}
I discoverd A Punkin Card Company from Sew Crafty, and haven’t looked back since!. A go to for thank you notes, stationery, and paper products. Beautiful designs, and they are local!
{December 29 Laugh. What was your biggest belly laugh of the year?}
Can my laugh of the year be a person? I’ve never laughed as much this year as I did with my Maggie. You know, those laughs when you can’t even close your mouth you’re drooling? Yeah, plenty of those. And much more in 2010.
{December 30 Ad. What advertisement made you think this year?}
{December 24Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?}
When I was about 15 years old, and Dad was teaching me to drive, one thing he said has always stuck with me:
“Sometimes, in order to avoid a wreck, you need to hit the gas instead of the breaks.”
I’m not sure why this piece of information stood out so clear to me, but I’ve used it while driving many times.
This year I learned, this antidote not only applies to driving, but to getting through some tough times. This year, I learned in order to not to be crippled by indecision, fear, or heartbreak, that the best remedy was to hit the gas. And that’s just what I did.
Now, If I could just get myself to stop applying makeup while driving.
{December 23 Web tool. It came into your work flow this year and now you couldn’t live without it. It has simplified or improved your online experience.}
Snoop said it best. When the pimp’s in the crib ma, drop it like it’s hot.
When you have shared documents on multiple computers, drop it like it’s hot. (I think that was the remix.)
Happy New Year! Ten days late. Appropriately on the 10th day of the 10th year in the century, the millenium, even. As Laura Mayes 
Running away with the Sun
All 27 glorious inches of it.
When I was about 15 years old, and Dad was teaching me to drive, one thing he said has always stuck with me:
Snoop said it best. When the pimp’s in the crib ma, drop it like it’s hot.